made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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