Dual....:-)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
