I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
