we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize