I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize