Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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