i think my tv is drunk
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
