I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
