you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
