Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
