You work out of a Hotel?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
