Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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