Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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