that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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