I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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