I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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