Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
