I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
