Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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