3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
