he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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