are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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