it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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