i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
