I cockslap morals
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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