Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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