there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
