Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
