i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it because I queefed?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
