I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
