Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
