So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
