When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
