I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
