My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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