watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize