I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Alive.
So much puke
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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