Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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