bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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