he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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