i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
