She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
