all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
