eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
