some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
