you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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