just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
