Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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