Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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