As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
