they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize