i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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