the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
