yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize