Did we literally take a cab across the street
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize